Stacey was only seven when her uncle decided she was old enough to play the adult version of ‘mama and papa’, requiring both of them being naked under the sheets while her mother went to prayer meeting. Coerced into remaining silent, the ‘games’ continued for five years, progressing from simple touching to full penetration on her twelfth birthday.
Stacey’s story is all too common in a society that looks the other way when they see inappropriate behaviour between older men and young girls, as they either say it is not their business, the girls are ‘force ripe’ or are hustling to support their families. None of those statements, however, makes the act legal, ethical or acceptable. ‘Victim blaming’ (or shaming) makes it all too easy for relatives, neighbours and community members to shirk their responsibility; however, the Child Care and Protection Act (2004) states that anyone who has knowledge or who suspects and does not make a report, will be held accountable under the law.
The recent case of a minister of religion allegedly having intercourse with an underage child made national headlines, but beyond the sensationalism of the situation, one has to come to grips with the fact that this is not new, neither is it an isolated incident. BUZZZ Magazine sought to shine the spotlight on this subject that too few are willing to face, because whispers, gossip, myths and mere speculation have not been keeping our children safe. We choose to examine, just who are the perpetrators of these heinous crimes? Why is it so seemingly commonplace, and what can be done to ensure that those who pray for our sins are not also preying on the most vulnerable members of our society?
Each year, local newspapers, carry stories on individuals from different walks of life and socio-economic backgrounds who sexually abuse our girls and boys. These are often fodder for office or canteen lunch time conversation or the source of many off coloured jokes; but the reality is no laughing matter. The Office of the Children’s Registry (OCR) which will be celebrating its tenth anniversary this year may not feel there is much to celebrate. Their statistics gathered between 2007 and 2014 indicate that some 16,790 cases of sexual abuse were reported to their offices over that eight year period. Of that figure, almost 90% were committed against girls. The figures are almost overwhelming but what is more disconcerting is the fact that many offenders are in professions with direct access to our children. These children can no longer remain as statistics or mere faceless victims; their plight can no longer be ignored. In 2012, General Practitioner Sandra Knight spoke out publicly after treating a little boy who was raped by his mother’s pastor while she was at work; after a toddler died of internal injuries after an uncle decided to satisfy his carnal needs and a little girl contracted not only gonorrhoea and syphilis but also HIV from a family member. The stories are traumatic and gut wrenching with no end in sight.
What would cause a grown adult to do such unspeakable things to a child? The reality is, not all offenders are men, as a small number are also women, many of them caregivers who people entrust with the safety of their offspring. Another myth is that these things only happen in inner-city homes or among the poorer class. This is the furthest thing from the truth as statistics do not support this misconception. Whether the home is a one room shack or a posh residence, monsters are contained within the walls, often disguised as a loving relative or family friend.
These individuals are often the most unlikely of suspects as behaviourally they usually do not raise a red flag to other adults when they are around. These are your average garden variety god-fathers, uncles, step fathers, aunties, older cousins and grandpas that are unassuming and kind. They are not only pastors, but also teachers, policemen and even doctors whom parents and guardians expect to cherish their little ones. Instead, they cheat them out of a normal, happy childhood.
They are hardly ever strangers, so the notion of warning your children against ‘stranger danger’ has to be taken a step further with you telling them no one at all is to touch their private parts or touch them in a manner that makes them uncomfortable. Children should not be forced to sit in people’s laps or to kiss adults if they do not want to. Always pay attention to whether a child’s mood or behaviour changes when certain individuals come around. If they throw a tantrum for no reason, get instantly fearful or wet themselves, you need to get to the bottom of it with some gentle coaxing. If your intuition tells you that something is wrong, it often is.
The major question therefore is who or what is to be blamed? The answer is multi-tiered as there are several reasons for this plague. The easiest to decipher is a breakdown in family values or a depletion of one’s individual moral compass, especially in homes where there is a drug or alcohol problem or the child is being neglected. Many children are poorly supervised for long periods after school or passed around to various neighbours or relatives for random babysitting. In other words, someone with an agenda can easily recognise a child is not being sufficiently monitored or cared for.
To continue reading, purchase Vol.8 #10, 2017 Issue.
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Stacey was only seven when her uncle decided she was old enough to play the adult version of ‘mama and papa’, requiring both of them being naked under the sheets while her mother went to prayer meeting. Coerced into remaining silent, the ‘games’ continued for five years, progressing from simple touching to full penetration on her twelfth birthday.
Stacey’s story is all too common in a society that looks the other way when they see inappropriate behaviour between older men and young girls, as they either say it is not their business, the girls are ‘force ripe’ or are hustling to support their families. None of those statements, however, makes the act legal, ethical or acceptable. ‘Victim blaming’ (or shaming) makes it all too easy for relatives, neighbours and community members to shirk their responsibility; however, the Child Care and Protection Act (2004) states that anyone who has knowledge or who suspects and does not make a report, will be held accountable under the law.
The recent case of a minister of religion allegedly having intercourse with an underage child made national headlines, but beyond the sensationalism of the situation, one has to come to grips with the fact that this is not new, neither is it an isolated incident. BUZZZ Magazine sought to shine the spotlight on this subject that too few are willing to face, because whispers, gossip, myths and mere speculation have not been keeping our children safe. We choose to examine, just who are the perpetrators of these heinous crimes? Why is it so seemingly commonplace, and what can be done to ensure that those who pray for our sins are not also preying on the most vulnerable members of our society?
Each year, local newspapers, carry stories on individuals from different walks of life and socio-economic backgrounds who sexually abuse our girls and boys. These are often fodder for office or canteen lunch time conversation or the source of many off coloured jokes; but the reality is no laughing matter. The Office of the Children’s Registry (OCR) which will be celebrating its tenth anniversary this year may not feel there is much to celebrate. Their statistics gathered between 2007 and 2014 indicate that some 16,790 cases of sexual abuse were reported to their offices over that eight year period. Of that figure, almost 90% were committed against girls. The figures are almost overwhelming but what is more disconcerting is the fact that many offenders are in professions with direct access to our children. These children can no longer remain as statistics or mere faceless victims; their plight can no longer be ignored. In 2012, General Practitioner Sandra Knight spoke out publicly after treating a little boy who was raped by his mother’s pastor while she was at work; after a toddler died of internal injuries after an uncle decided to satisfy his carnal needs and a little girl contracted not only gonorrhoea and syphilis but also HIV from a family member. The stories are traumatic and gut wrenching with no end in sight.
What would cause a grown adult to do such unspeakable things to a child? The reality is, not all offenders are men, as a small number are also women, many of them caregivers who people entrust with the safety of their offspring. Another myth is that these things only happen in inner-city homes or among the poorer class. This is the furthest thing from the truth as statistics do not support this misconception. Whether the home is a one room shack or a posh residence, monsters are contained within the walls, often disguised as a loving relative or family friend.
These individuals are often the most unlikely of suspects as behaviourally they usually do not raise a red flag to other adults when they are around. These are your average garden variety god-fathers, uncles, step fathers, aunties, older cousins and grandpas that are unassuming and kind. They are not only pastors, but also teachers, policemen and even doctors whom parents and guardians expect to cherish their little ones. Instead, they cheat them out of a normal, happy childhood.
They are hardly ever strangers, so the notion of warning your children against ‘stranger danger’ has to be taken a step further with you telling them no one at all is to touch their private parts or touch them in a manner that makes them uncomfortable. Children should not be forced to sit in people’s laps or to kiss adults if they do not want to. Always pay attention to whether a child’s mood or behaviour changes when certain individuals come around. If they throw a tantrum for no reason, get instantly fearful or wet themselves, you need to get to the bottom of it with some gentle coaxing. If your intuition tells you that something is wrong, it often is.
The major question therefore is who or what is to be blamed? The answer is multi-tiered as there are several reasons for this plague. The easiest to decipher is a breakdown in family values or a depletion of one’s individual moral compass, especially in homes where there is a drug or alcohol problem or the child is being neglected. Many children are poorly supervised for long periods after school or passed around to various neighbours or relatives for random babysitting. In other words, someone with an agenda can easily recognise a child is not being sufficiently monitored or cared for.
To continue reading, purchase Vol.8 #10, 2017 Issue.
Share this post: