The traffic light has barely turned green. As you reach down to release the handbrake, the Speedy Gonzalez behind you honks his horn. It’s one of a long list of maddening habits your fellow drivers have.
That always drives me nuts, but it isn’t alone on the list of driver misdemeanors, which probably should be punished with a slap! Here’s another one from the Hubert Hit List; the car in front of you is creeping along, as if the driver is looking for an address in a housing scheme. Only trouble is, you are on the Mandela Highway, heading away from Kingston.
When you drive pass him, a glance reveals that the nincompoop is on his phone. Thanks to phone technology, this mobile annoyance is fairly new.
Once upon a time, drivers of the old Jamaica Telephone Company were a force out of control. They fly pass you, and bore in front of you, at their convenience, before speeding off to create more mayhem.
The mantle has long been assumed by mini-vans and route taxis. These creative drivers sometimes pass you on the soft shoulder to your left, before forcing their way back onto the road. It’s a mad, mad world!
That happened to me once as a lovely lady drove me home from a race meet at Dover. When it happens there, you blame racing fever. When it happens away from the race tracks at Dover and Vernamfield, it’s harder to excuse.
It’s madness.
Some people fear the presence of trucks and buses. They feel those big guys throw their weight around. They don’t scare me, but there are true stories of unladen truck cabs threaten to run over small cars on speedy stretches of country road.
I’m more afraid of those who smoke herb while they walk, ride and drive. Hence why? I was heading home to the big parish of St Catherine, one afternoon in two massed lines of traffic moving past the Berger Paints office on Spanish Town Road. Suddenly, a car shot through a minuscule gap between the lines. I just happened to look across, as the gap finder was passing by.
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