If the philosophy of ‘happy wife, happy life’ is true then how do you factor in the presence of some mothers-in-law who seem determined to rant, rage and possibly ruin your relationship with your spouse?
We all know that when you get married to a man, you marry into the family and the whole package that comes with it good or bad. But what happens when there is more bad than good? If the woman that gave birth to him is a ‘monster-in-law’ how will her words and attitude impact your relationship?
BUZZZ MAGAZINE decided to take a closer look at factors and situations that affect everyday relationships that may be red flags we ignore to the detriment of our long term relationships. Awareness is always key in preventing pitfalls and potholes as we artfully try to navigate successfully through this thing called life and marriage.
When your guy said to you, “I’m taking you home to meet my mamma,” did it fill you with happiness or did you get a sudden case of diarrhea? If the latter occurred it was probably because the word ‘mom’ started and ended most of his sentences. And that’s a big clue of just how pivotal a role she plays in his life. And because her opinion matters so much to him, her opinion of you will matter to him. The question however really is, does her opinion of you matter to YOU? If she doesn’t like you right off the bat for no earthly reason, it could possibly be a case that she puts her son on a pedestal and therefore no woman will ever be enough for her child. If this is the situation then the issue is not really you, so do not stress about it. Let go, let God and keep it moving because nothing you do will change her mind and your attempts to ‘win her over’ will only make you look desperate.Besides, you do not need her permission to live your life to the fullest.
Having said that, you are in for a challenge if she is super opinionated and usually does his thinking for him. If you have a man that allows his mother to dictate how he conducts his life, misery shall be your constant companion. Chances are she intends to ‘manage’ his love life as well and may just be ‘tolerating’ you as she sees no permanence in your relationship. If that is painfully obvious, you have two options: run for the hills or have a frank and honest discussion with him about the problem of her interfering. Yes, the conversation needs to be with him and not her. Why?
“The challenges you face with a meddlesome mother-in-law-to-be is also a good test as to the strength of your relationship and how deeply you should invest in it if he is not willing to scaffold you and have your back.”
Simply put, he is the one you’re with so he needs to then set boundaries and implore her to respect them or issue consequences such as her not being invited to drop by your home any time she feels like. Yes he has to respect his mother but that doesn’t mean she should step all over your relationship. A real man will know to say, “Mom I love you but I got this.”
To Read More: Purchase your copy of Volume 9 #4– September-October 2017