“I was completely shocked. I honestly paused to look at the packs of spaghetti in front of me, so I could think.”
Did you get “The Talk”, or are you planning to give the talk about the “Bird & the Bees”? Lots of parents find it hard to talk to their children about sex and many more never had the talk themselves. With the Internet available to children of all ages, it’s now impossible to hide information from them. So where do we start with talking to kids about sex?
There are three important things to remember:
- The information we share has to be age-appropriate;
- It has to be factual; and
- It has to be simple.
Ages 2-6 years
Think about what is essential for your child to know. Young children between the ages of two and six years need to have information about how to keep safe from molestation. So the first thing we have to teach them is that they shouldn’t let anyone touch them where their underwear covers. Of course, the exception to this rule is the main caregiver, who will bathe and change the child. Teach young children the correct words for private body parts, such as “penis” and “vagina”, as well as slangs people might use.
Ages 7-11 years
As children get older and enter primary school, they become better at communicating their ideas and also realise that they will always be a boy or girl. This makes them curious about why boys and girls have different genitals and how babies are born. By now they may have observed a pet having babies; this is a great way of explaining reproduction to them. Seven- to eleven-year-olds need to know that boys and girls are different because boys will eventually become men and girls will become women and have babies.
Ages 9 to 11 years
Your child’s questions about sex don’t always come up at (the most) convenient times or in predictable ways. Especially when kids don’t yet know what’s appropriate, they can ask embarrassing questions. Start thinking about questions that embarrass you and answer them for yourself. I remember my 11-year-old when she started high school. We were in the supermarket one day when she suddenly blurted out, “Mummy, what’s oral sex?”
I was completely shocked. I honestly paused to look at the packs of spaghetti in front of me so I could think.
Always answer the question asked. Don’t get into long explanations. …”
“Who told you about oral sex?” I asked.
“The children at school were talking about it.”
So right there in the supermarket, between the spaghetti and the tomato sauce, I had to explain oral sex to my 11-year-old. Always answer the question asked. Don’t get into long explanations. Don’t give more information than they need as it only confuses them. Incidentally, this is the same child who at seven years asked me, “When is Aunty Sharon going to have her kittens?” Her aunt was pregnant and that morning the cat had kittens.
Read next: Emprezz Golding Speaks on: Marriage, Motherhood & Entrepreneurship
Share this post:
“I was completely shocked. I honestly paused to look at the packs of spaghetti in front of me, so I could think.”
Did you get “The Talk”, or are you planning to give the talk about the “Bird & the Bees”? Lots of parents find it hard to talk to their children about sex and many more never had the talk themselves. With the Internet available to children of all ages, it’s now impossible to hide information from them. So where do we start with talking to kids about sex?
There are three important things to remember:
Ages 2-6 years
Think about what is essential for your child to know. Young children between the ages of two and six years need to have information about how to keep safe from molestation. So the first thing we have to teach them is that they shouldn’t let anyone touch them where their underwear covers. Of course, the exception to this rule is the main caregiver, who will bathe and change the child. Teach young children the correct words for private body parts, such as “penis” and “vagina”, as well as slangs people might use.
Ages 7-11 years
As children get older and enter primary school, they become better at communicating their ideas and also realise that they will always be a boy or girl. This makes them curious about why boys and girls have different genitals and how babies are born. By now they may have observed a pet having babies; this is a great way of explaining reproduction to them. Seven- to eleven-year-olds need to know that boys and girls are different because boys will eventually become men and girls will become women and have babies.
Ages 9 to 11 years
Your child’s questions about sex don’t always come up at (the most) convenient times or in predictable ways. Especially when kids don’t yet know what’s appropriate, they can ask embarrassing questions. Start thinking about questions that embarrass you and answer them for yourself. I remember my 11-year-old when she started high school. We were in the supermarket one day when she suddenly blurted out, “Mummy, what’s oral sex?”
I was completely shocked. I honestly paused to look at the packs of spaghetti in front of me so I could think.
Always answer the question asked. Don’t get into long explanations. …”
“Who told you about oral sex?” I asked.
“The children at school were talking about it.”
So right there in the supermarket, between the spaghetti and the tomato sauce, I had to explain oral sex to my 11-year-old. Always answer the question asked. Don’t get into long explanations. Don’t give more information than they need as it only confuses them. Incidentally, this is the same child who at seven years asked me, “When is Aunty Sharon going to have her kittens?” Her aunt was pregnant and that morning the cat had kittens.
Read next: Emprezz Golding Speaks on: Marriage, Motherhood & Entrepreneurship
Share this post: