There is a very funny condom add that has an aspirin inside the packet. The message is clear, “no excuses for not having sex” not even a headache. The truth of our busy, modern lives is that we can actually find plenty of excuses, with both partners working and kids and family in the mix. So the answer to the bedroom blues could well be….wait for it….A Sex Schedule. Yes, you heard right, sex and relationship therapists have been suggesting this for years.
Couples who want to rev up their sex lives and can’t remember when they last made love, are advised to put it in the timetable along with school pick–ups – 2:30; shopping – 4:30 and dirty dishes – 6:30; followed by sex at 8:30pm.
Why is this a good idea? Because the idea of spontaneous sex being the best sex, is highly overrated. Even when we had the idea that we were being spontaneous, early in a relationship, we actually spent a lot of time guessing whether we would have sex. This essentially created anxiety, but it also created uncertainty and anticipation, and that’s exciting. So how do we schedule those ingredients into our sex lives? Lifetime TV ran a programme called, “7 Days of Sex”, which is an experiment that has been tried in different countries. Couples are put on a diet of more sex. Every day they have to find time for at least one sexual activity, and make a video diary about it. What happens is that the couples discover that the reason they found sex such hard work before, is that they were putting no thought and effort into it. So you have to think about it before hand, just like when you were dating, and plan for it in advance.
Here are a few ways you can actually make this happen. Get a cookie jar and put seven things you would like in bed on folded post-it notes. Have your partner do the same. Each day choose one of your partner’s wishes and make it come true.
To Read More: Purchase your copy of Volume 9 #1 – May – June 2017