The New Year, for many, is a time of reflection and renewal. We critically examine significant facets of our lives such as career, health, faith, finances, family life and relationships. Still, changing or making adjustments to some of the aforementioned are more easily said than done. In fact, they’re identified as frequently broken New Year’s resolutions.
How many of you attend the New Year’s Sunday church service, never to return until the next such service one year later? The same is true for gym membership which ends by February. It gets even harder when it comes to the emotional issue of relationships – evaluating them, taking stock, recognizing toxic signs and being brave enough to let go and move on, essentially taking on the dreaded single status.
As you evaluate your relationship, ask yourself these questions: Am I in a healthy relationship? Is my partner right for me? Are we happy together? Even the best couples go through tough times, but when the bad starts to outweigh the good it’s time to ask deeper questions: Is our fighting normal? Am I in a toxic relationship?
By definition, a toxic relationship is characterized by behaviours on the part of one partner that are emotionally and physically damaging to the other. While, a healthy relationship contributes to our self-esteem and emotional energy, a toxic relationship damages self-esteem and drains energy.
A healthy relationship involves mutual caring, respect, and compassion; an interest in our partner’s welfare and growth and shared control and decision-making. A healthy relationship is a safe relationship, one in which we can be ourselves without fear; a place where we feel comfortable and secure. Simply put, there is a shared desire for each other’s happiness.
A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is not a safe place. It is characterized by insecurity, self-centeredness, dominance and control. We risk our very existence by staying in such a relationship.
Dr. Thomas L. Cory, Clinical Psychologist specializing in Interpersonal and Marital therapy concurs, stating that to say a toxic relationship is dysfunctional, is at best, an understatement.
In this issue, Buzzz Magazine outlines six (6) most toxic relationship patterns with much emphasis on the individual displaying the toxic behaviour.
Possessiveness – The possessive partner makes your life miserable and destroys your relationship with family and friends by checking on your every move. He/she wants to know why you’re working late, where you went with your friends, why you need to spend the weekend at your parents, and so on. In the early stages of a relationship, some find jealousy to be cute, but as time elapses and it intensifies, it becomes dangerous – often times a fatal domestic abuse statistic.
To continue reading, purchase Vol.8 #4, 2016 Issue.