Many of us have dreams of the happily-ever-after love story, with the 2.5 children and the white picket fence. In Jamaica, the rate of marriage has been decreasing and the rate of divorce steadily increasing. Hence, many marriages do not make it to happily-ever-after. But what is it really like to be divorced?
Stacey Hines, I.T. Strategist and divorced mom of three shares a reality many of us do not think of. She says divorce is very lonely especially compared to getting married. “There’s nobody there at your divorce, but everyone is there at the marriage. Yes, you may have the close friends that are there to support you ever so often, but the late nights and no new family are a reality felt on a whole new level.”
Where you had a great marriage or not, living as a couple oftentimes results in making compromises.
She also highlights her own experience with “getting untangled being way more complicated than getting tangled.” In her experience, there were unexpected challenges of no longer having partner with whom to manage some aspects of life. These include:
Dreams – any co-created dreams for a future are now gone. You have to recreate your dreams.
Finances – Recognizing financial codependence isnt as clear when your’e married, but once the separating of financial obligations begin, the reality kicks in. This is particularly impactful when there are children involved.
Name Changing – Stacey says that especially for women, the name changing process is a pain. Not to mention the emotional aspects when there are children involved who may question why mommy is changing her name.
To Read More: Purchase your copy of Volume 9 #8 May-June 2018