Just Like in the Movies
The movies and soap operas are full of tearful scenes where a man wrongs a woman and she slaps him in the face, pounds her fists into his chest, punches him in the groin, throws things and generally gets physical. You only have to watch the fight scene between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, to see how far we have come in accepting violent women and partner violence. For most moviegoers these acts seem like justifiable revenge, self-defense and a way to balance the equation of beauty against muscles. At the same time, if the scenes are reversed and the male character uses force against the female character, we quickly understand this as abuse. So why the double-standard when it comes to women hitting men?
The Facts about Partner Violence against Men
The traditional view of both sexes is that women are physically weaker than men and therefore need protection. But the real truth about partner abuse, when it comes to women against men, paints a very different picture. First of all women all over the world, regardless of age, education or status, do more than hit men.
Domestic violence against men has increased in the United States and the United Kingdom. Statistics show that men report 40% of all cases of domestic abuse, this means that for every ten men, four of them are being abused by female partners
When a Woman Abuses
The abuse of men by women ranges from the visible signs of injury to the subtle acts of psychological harm. A woman may do things like: isolate him from his friends and family; repeatedly call him abusive names, bully and threaten him with losing his children and family, threaten suicide, harm or damage his personal property, the children or pets, or stalk him.
Physical abuse will take the form of acts that make up for her size. She may use household objects to throw, hit, or injure her man. From frying pans to hot irons, cigarette butts, electronic gadgets ,to name a few. She may hit, kick, spit, scratch with her nails, attack while the man is sleeping ,and generally assault her partner without warning.
Cases of Male Victims
In Jamaica, there was an extreme case of partner abuse reported by the newspapers some years ago. One such case featured the victim, a market vendor by the nickname Bugsy. He was regularly abused by his wife and chased from the house. Things escalated to the point where his two daughters joined in the abuse when they got older. For some years he had been sleeping in his van until the wife and daughters beat him so badly that he had to report to the hospital ,and they stole his van. Bugsy commented to the reporter on leaving the hospital that there was little he could do. He explained that his wife had always been a violent woman ,and his daughters came out the same way. “Life hard, but it sweet” was Bugsy’s final comment.
More recently, there have been reports of cases where female partners have threatened to kill themselves if the male partner doesn’t do what they want, or if the male attempts to leave the relationship. For many years in Jamaica, one such method has been the woman lying on a mattress and setting it on fire in full view of the male partner and the children. There have been no reported deaths from these incidents as persons usually rush in to rescue the female before extensive damage is done.
Psychologically ,however, this is both partner and child abuse. The male partner is held as a psychological hostage unless they can get away and take the children with them.
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Just Like in the Movies
The movies and soap operas are full of tearful scenes where a man wrongs a woman and she slaps him in the face, pounds her fists into his chest, punches him in the groin, throws things and generally gets physical. You only have to watch the fight scene between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, to see how far we have come in accepting violent women and partner violence. For most moviegoers these acts seem like justifiable revenge, self-defense and a way to balance the equation of beauty against muscles. At the same time, if the scenes are reversed and the male character uses force against the female character, we quickly understand this as abuse. So why the double-standard when it comes to women hitting men?
The Facts about Partner Violence against Men
The traditional view of both sexes is that women are physically weaker than men and therefore need protection. But the real truth about partner abuse, when it comes to women against men, paints a very different picture. First of all women all over the world, regardless of age, education or status, do more than hit men.
Domestic violence against men has increased in the United States and the United Kingdom. Statistics show that men report 40% of all cases of domestic abuse, this means that for every ten men, four of them are being abused by female partners
When a Woman Abuses
The abuse of men by women ranges from the visible signs of injury to the subtle acts of psychological harm. A woman may do things like: isolate him from his friends and family; repeatedly call him abusive names, bully and threaten him with losing his children and family, threaten suicide, harm or damage his personal property, the children or pets, or stalk him.
Physical abuse will take the form of acts that make up for her size. She may use household objects to throw, hit, or injure her man. From frying pans to hot irons, cigarette butts, electronic gadgets ,to name a few. She may hit, kick, spit, scratch with her nails, attack while the man is sleeping ,and generally assault her partner without warning.
Cases of Male Victims
In Jamaica, there was an extreme case of partner abuse reported by the newspapers some years ago. One such case featured the victim, a market vendor by the nickname Bugsy. He was regularly abused by his wife and chased from the house. Things escalated to the point where his two daughters joined in the abuse when they got older. For some years he had been sleeping in his van until the wife and daughters beat him so badly that he had to report to the hospital ,and they stole his van. Bugsy commented to the reporter on leaving the hospital that there was little he could do. He explained that his wife had always been a violent woman ,and his daughters came out the same way. “Life hard, but it sweet” was Bugsy’s final comment.
More recently, there have been reports of cases where female partners have threatened to kill themselves if the male partner doesn’t do what they want, or if the male attempts to leave the relationship. For many years in Jamaica, one such method has been the woman lying on a mattress and setting it on fire in full view of the male partner and the children. There have been no reported deaths from these incidents as persons usually rush in to rescue the female before extensive damage is done.
Psychologically ,however, this is both partner and child abuse. The male partner is held as a psychological hostage unless they can get away and take the children with them.
Share this post: