An innocuous trip to the supermarket, a party, a trip on public transportation or even one’s place of employment can be fraught with the hassles of uninvited sexual attention for the average Jamaican woman. Seemingly in a competition to outdo each other, the pickup lines of these amorous would-be suitors range from lighthearted comical one liners to downright restraining order material.
With wildly descriptive expressions, the Jamaican male is known for his hapless attempts to catch the eye of a desirable female describing her anatomy with what is believed to be terms of endearment.
Oftentimes, even the most self aware female has to do a double take in a mirror, as the manner in which she is described could just as easily describe a thoroughbred at Caymanas racetrack. With adjectives such as ‘thickas”, “slimmas”, “fatty”, “strong-body”, “browning”, “healthy body”, “glasses” and the proverbial catch-all descriptor and my hands down favourite: “my size”. Then there is the more flowery poetic version of this wooing gone wrong, as the object of their unwanted affection is described as “empress”, “heaven-sent, “my queen”, “luscious”, “earth angel,” “wifey” and its absolutely genius derivative, “wife material”.
While the majority of men are content with the fairer sex giving them a laugh of amusement, a smile of appreciation, a mumble of acknowledgement, or a well-earned rebuff of their questionable charms, others push the boundaries by attempting to assert physical and sexual dominance over a woman. This may occur in the form of physically invading a woman’s space with the aim of sexually intimidating her by blocking her path with his body, standing closer to her than is comfortable, breathing on her neck, leaning in too close, sitting too near to her , ‘accidentally’ bumping into her, or stalking her physically. Such behaviour may happen on a woman’s daily commute, but even in the supposedly hallowed halls of the church, the sanctity of the classroom and even in the professional environs of the workplace. Others still push the envelope and veer off into decidedly criminal territory by ignoring the most basic unwritten rules of social interaction and reaching out to touch, grope, pinch and, in some cases, fondle a woman without any invitation or indication of approval on her part. Left unchecked, this behaviour can fester until it manifests in its ugliest form: sexual assault.
Mrs. Lorraine Wilson Ferguson, Psychologist for over 13 years at Family Life Ministries, notes that Jamaican society does not always stress the importance of boundaries in relationships (or in the way women are treated).
Boys are often sexualised from an early age to pursue women as a sign of heterosexual masculinity, acquiring labels like ‘gallis’ or ‘player’. She observes that these boys often grow up to be men who perpetuate the behavior of sexual harassment of women.
According to Mrs. Wilson-Ferguson, the role of parenting styles and community persuasions serve to reinforce the perceived ‘masculine’ behaviour. She adds that how women are portrayed in the media often contributes to negative stereotypes, namely, women invite and require sexual advances in order to feel good about themselves. Some women may not even recognise such behaviour as inappropriate and may continue to allow themselves to be objectified.
With all these social factors at play, the stage is often set for men to believe there is nothing wrong with sexually harassing or intimidating a woman. This deviant behavior is often exacerbated if the woman does not favorably receive the uninvited sexual attention and often continues until the whistle is blown on the behavior through reports to legal authorities, the human resource department in the work setting, school administrators, and religious leaders. While such behaviour can be a source of great distress for a woman to endure, the legal system often fails to provide any tangible protection unless it is deemed as life threatening. So in those cases what is a woman to do?
• For occasions where an innocent yet somewhat clumsy compliment is given by a member of the opposite sex, you can choose to be gracious and keep it moving.
• Avoid situations that make such incidents likely to occur. For example, walking alone late at night, being drunk and alone at social events, wearing clothing that is sexually suggestive or revealing etc.
• Do not give the impression that the behavior is desired. Beware of mixed signals such as prolonged eye contact, smiling, and flirting that may result in him amping up his efforts.
• Take a self defence course. Get a rape whistle or panic alarm button; a well-placed karate chop to the cojones will make any man think twice about touching you without your permission ever again.
• Make a scene! Scream! This is especially effective if his come-ons border on rape. Aim to attract the attention of as many passers-by as you can.
To continue reading, purchase Vol.8 #10, 2017 Issue.
Share this post:
An innocuous trip to the supermarket, a party, a trip on public transportation or even one’s place of employment can be fraught with the hassles of uninvited sexual attention for the average Jamaican woman. Seemingly in a competition to outdo each other, the pickup lines of these amorous would-be suitors range from lighthearted comical one liners to downright restraining order material.
With wildly descriptive expressions, the Jamaican male is known for his hapless attempts to catch the eye of a desirable female describing her anatomy with what is believed to be terms of endearment.
Oftentimes, even the most self aware female has to do a double take in a mirror, as the manner in which she is described could just as easily describe a thoroughbred at Caymanas racetrack. With adjectives such as ‘thickas”, “slimmas”, “fatty”, “strong-body”, “browning”, “healthy body”, “glasses” and the proverbial catch-all descriptor and my hands down favourite: “my size”. Then there is the more flowery poetic version of this wooing gone wrong, as the object of their unwanted affection is described as “empress”, “heaven-sent, “my queen”, “luscious”, “earth angel,” “wifey” and its absolutely genius derivative, “wife material”.
While the majority of men are content with the fairer sex giving them a laugh of amusement, a smile of appreciation, a mumble of acknowledgement, or a well-earned rebuff of their questionable charms, others push the boundaries by attempting to assert physical and sexual dominance over a woman. This may occur in the form of physically invading a woman’s space with the aim of sexually intimidating her by blocking her path with his body, standing closer to her than is comfortable, breathing on her neck, leaning in too close, sitting too near to her , ‘accidentally’ bumping into her, or stalking her physically. Such behaviour may happen on a woman’s daily commute, but even in the supposedly hallowed halls of the church, the sanctity of the classroom and even in the professional environs of the workplace. Others still push the envelope and veer off into decidedly criminal territory by ignoring the most basic unwritten rules of social interaction and reaching out to touch, grope, pinch and, in some cases, fondle a woman without any invitation or indication of approval on her part. Left unchecked, this behaviour can fester until it manifests in its ugliest form: sexual assault.
Mrs. Lorraine Wilson Ferguson, Psychologist for over 13 years at Family Life Ministries, notes that Jamaican society does not always stress the importance of boundaries in relationships (or in the way women are treated).
Boys are often sexualised from an early age to pursue women as a sign of heterosexual masculinity, acquiring labels like ‘gallis’ or ‘player’. She observes that these boys often grow up to be men who perpetuate the behavior of sexual harassment of women.
According to Mrs. Wilson-Ferguson, the role of parenting styles and community persuasions serve to reinforce the perceived ‘masculine’ behaviour. She adds that how women are portrayed in the media often contributes to negative stereotypes, namely, women invite and require sexual advances in order to feel good about themselves. Some women may not even recognise such behaviour as inappropriate and may continue to allow themselves to be objectified.
With all these social factors at play, the stage is often set for men to believe there is nothing wrong with sexually harassing or intimidating a woman. This deviant behavior is often exacerbated if the woman does not favorably receive the uninvited sexual attention and often continues until the whistle is blown on the behavior through reports to legal authorities, the human resource department in the work setting, school administrators, and religious leaders. While such behaviour can be a source of great distress for a woman to endure, the legal system often fails to provide any tangible protection unless it is deemed as life threatening. So in those cases what is a woman to do?
• For occasions where an innocent yet somewhat clumsy compliment is given by a member of the opposite sex, you can choose to be gracious and keep it moving.
• Avoid situations that make such incidents likely to occur. For example, walking alone late at night, being drunk and alone at social events, wearing clothing that is sexually suggestive or revealing etc.
• Do not give the impression that the behavior is desired. Beware of mixed signals such as prolonged eye contact, smiling, and flirting that may result in him amping up his efforts.
• Take a self defence course. Get a rape whistle or panic alarm button; a well-placed karate chop to the cojones will make any man think twice about touching you without your permission ever again.
• Make a scene! Scream! This is especially effective if his come-ons border on rape. Aim to attract the attention of as many passers-by as you can.
To continue reading, purchase Vol.8 #10, 2017 Issue.
Share this post: