T he Good Book is peppered with verses abhorring “lying lips”, “a deceitful tongue”, and “falsehood” but when confronted with the choice of telling the truth and jeopardising your relationship, I encourage you to plead the fifth, play the fool, or simply say “it wasn’t me”.
Honesty, for the most part, is the best policy. It is wrong to hide; a child from your partner, being a carrier of the sickle cell trait, suffering from a chronic illness, or riddled with debt. You should admit to past traumatic experiences, substance abuse problems, not being able to have children, or your marital status, whether prior engaged or divorced. These are a few of the need-to-know information that should be shared when entering a relationship.
Related: Social Distancing & Intimacy
Everyone deserves a chance to make an informed decision about who they are choosing to settle down with, but that is where the line must be drawn. It is kinder to keep some things to yourself in a relationship. The use of ‘kinder’ is not a mistake because every good relationship is built on lies, half-truths, or omissions (please temper the eye rolls). The important thing is to never lie to oneself.
A woman’s sexual history will always be judged negatively.
What good will come from disclosing to your partner that you dislike their family or that your family does not like them? How will telling your spouse that you are attracted to someone else make your relationship stronger? Will telling your current partner about how great your ex was make them want to compete for your affection, or would it result in resentment?
We all know the answer to these questions, yet we are all guilty of oversharing, dredging up the skeletons that should remain buried in the nethers of our consciousness and subconsciously sabotaging our happiness. Eduardo Andrade and Joel Cohen were correct – negative feelings are a reliable source of arousal; it entices us against our better judgment.
To read more, please purchase a copy of Buzzz Caribbean Lifestyle Magazine Vol 10 #7 in a store near you.
Follow the Buzzz on Instagram